Hiei the Prostitute?
by kakumeimei
Summary: Hiei the prostitute is now a full blown series! And you know what that means, don't you? If not, go sit in the corner! Randomness, torture, and an insane authoress, what could be better? PLEASE REVIEW! Arigatou!
1. The song of DOOM!

Hiei the Prostitute

Hi there! Uh, I got this idea from an email I got from Ryuu, so, uh… () Anyway, there is a yaoi warning! Yesh, peoples, YAOI!! WHEE!! Let's start, kay?

Disclaimer: Owning YYH would be a nice Christmas gift… Oh, and I don't own Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer also. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hiei the prostitute

Had a stripping outfit

He went to a bar to do his job

And he made quite a bit of profit

Yusuke and Kuwabara

Used to laugh and call him names

Then they were really sorry

When Hiei set them a blaze

Then one day in Ningenkai

Kurama came to say (eh he he he)

"Hiei, with those arms so strong,

You can keep me warm all night long!"

Then Hiei was sex-i-fied 

He was happy as can be

Hiei the prostitute

Why don't you come play with me? ^.~

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jeezers, that was random… And rather stupid… Uh, please review! Flame if you want; it's getting kinda cold in So Cal (believe it or not)! Just review, dammit! Ja! ^_^

~*Melissa-chan*~ 


	2. Role Play!

Melissa: BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I have returned with another demented chappy of Hiei the Prostitute!

Miyu: And just how are you supposed to make another chapter?

Melissa: I'm gonna have the YYH gang play it out! Yay me!

Miyu: -_-() Oi…

Melissa: So here we go!

Disclaimer: If only… (sigh)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter 2: Role-play!

//Hiei the Prostitute

Had a stripping outfit//

Hiei: (suddenly in a man-thong) (glares at Melissa) You are so demented.

Melissa: ^^;; I know!

//He went to a bar to do his job

And he made quite a bit of profit//

Some random guy: (stuff a twenty in Hiei's thong) XD

Hiei: O_O 

Melissa: WOOT!!

Hiei: I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!

Melissa: (runs away)

//Yusuke and Kuwabara

Used to laugh and call him names//

Kuwabara: Midget slut! Midget slut!

Yusuke: Oh joy, I'm in ANOTHER fic.

Melissa: (glomps Yusuke) Yep! ^_^

//Then they were really sorry

When Hiei set them a blaze//

Hiei: (tries to light lighter, it doesn't work) Dammit! Uh… (throws it)

Yusuke: (dodges)

Melissa: (tries to dodge, trips, falls over) My ankle, the pain!

Kuwabara: (gets hit in the head with the lighter) Mommy! The runt hurt me! (cries)

All: O.o

//Then one day in Ningenkai

Kurama came to say//

Kurama: (glares at Melissa) You made me gay?!

Kota: (glomps Kurama protectively) MY FOX IS SO NOT GAY!!!

Melissa: Sure… XD

//"Hiei with those arms so strong

You can keep me warm all night long!"//

Kurama: (rubbing Hiei's arm) (twitches) I hate you, Melissa.

Melissa: I really don't care. ^_^

Kota: MY FOX!!! (sobs)

Hiei: This is disturbing…

//Then Hiei was sex-i-fied//

Hiei: I was WHAT?!

//He was happy as can be//

Hiei: No I'm not! I'm pissed as usual!

//Hiei the prostitute//

Hiei: I'm not a prostitute either!

//Why don't you come play with me? ^.~//

Melissa: I've got another twenty…

Hiei: That's it, now you die! (Torches Melissa, takes twenty)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Melissa: (burnt and charred) Ta da! I made it all fun like! And I got third degree burns! Yay!

Miyu: You are such a freak.

Melissa: Is that bad?

Miyu: …I'm really not sure anymore.

Melissa: ^_^ Thankies to all of you who reviewed, especially that person who called the mental asylum and the guy in my math class who was deprived of sleep after reading this. I'm glad I disturbed you!

Miyu: … O_o

Melissa: Please review! I'm thinking of having Hiei babysit my baby cousins after this, what do you think? Or I might make the Soul Caliber Cast babysit them… I dunno. 

Hiei: There is no way in Hell I'm gonna babysit your cousins.

Melissa: But what if I black mailed you with the whole 'I know who your sister is' info?

Hiei: (takes out kitana) Say and die. (death glares)

Melissa: (officially scared) …uh, moo?

Miyu: Let's just stop this now. Flames are welcome, reviews are better, push the damned button already! 


	3. Hiei the Pimp! Holla!

Melissa: Hiei the Prostitute is now a full-blown series! YAY!!

Miyu: I can't believe we're making another chapter…

Melissa: Hey, blame the reviewers, not me.

Hiei: What are you going to do to me now?

Melissa: You're gonna be a pimp!

Hiei: A WHAT?!

Melissa: A P-I-M-P. You know, like the song?

Hiei: (twitches) I'm blaming Neo Queen Kaibas bride for this… (Thanks so much for the idea!)

Melissa: Isn't he just adorable when he twitches? ^_^

Disclaimer: Wouldn't it be nice to own a Hiei? Or the entire YYH cast? Oh, and I don't own 50 cent either.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter 3: Hiei the P-I-M-P

Hiei: Not this again…

//Hiei the P-I-M-P

Walked around with a pimp cane//

Hiei: (now wearing the same outfit 50 cent did) … (whacks Kuwabara with the cane) Well, I feel a little bit better…

Kuwabara: @_@

//Girls flocked to him from all over

And Hiei got mobbed by fangirls again//

Hiei: (hears a stampede of crazed fangirls coming) Kuso!

Kurama: (running with the mob) And just why am I in this mob?

Melissa: Because I'm a yaoi fan. ^-^

Kurama and Hiei: -_-()

//Kazuma Kuwabara

Wanted fangirls too//

Kuwabara: What? I have plenty of fangirls!

All: Yeah right. (A/n: No offense, Kuwa-fans!)

//But nobody loves him

So he went to live in a shoe//

Kuwabara: Yeah, well I still have my Yukina!

Yukina: (walks up with Touya) What are you, stupid? 

Kurama: Yukina-chan developed a temper after learning that Hiei was her brother ^^;;

Touya: (walks off with Yukina and flips Kuwabara off as he walks away) XD Loser!

Hiei: I'm so proud of my dear imouto-chan… (grins)

//Then one day at Hiei's pimp mansion

Kuwabara came to say//

Kuwabara: What the shmuck am I doing at the runt's house?

Melissa: (chases Kuwabara with a spork) Shmuck is my word, dammit!!

//"Hiei, can you teach me your pimp tricks

So that I can get my own chicks?"//

Kuwabara: Why am I taking advice from a midget?

Hiei: (glares murderously) Can I kill him yet?

Melissa: You can right after the next line. ^^

Hiei: Thank kami.

//Then Hiei threw Kuwabara out of his mansion

It made him happy as can be//

Hiei: (chucks Kuwabara out, kicks him, lights him on fire) BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Melissa: I wanna help! (throws a spork at him) ^_^

Kuwabara: (chared by the fire, bruised, and impaled by the spork) Itai… x_x

Hiei and Melissa: Our work is done. ^_^

//Hiei the P-I-M-P

You're a better pimp than Kuwabara will ever be!//

Kuwabara: (dies) X_X

Hiei: (lights him on fire again)

Kurama and Yusuke: (walk by) (see the fire) Oh God…

Melissa and Kota: (glomp their bishies respectively) ^_^

Kurama and Yusuke: -_-;;

Hiei: You see that? (Points at the fire) I did that! XD

Yusuke: I never would have figured that…

Kurama: At least I'm not gay in this one too.

Melissa: Did you not read the fangirl mob part? (points up)

Kota: That was a marathon that Kura-chan was running in!

Melissa: Sure… XD

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So, um, that was Hiei the P-I-M-P… Next up are Kuwabara the punching bag, Koenma the baby ruler, and Yusuke the dude with the hair gel! But I might not get them up very fast because I'm currently pissed off at ff.net ^^ See y'all later and thanks very much for the reviews! ^_^V peace

~*Melissa-chan*~


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